2008 NBA Draft Diary - Part V

By Felipe Melecio

2008 NBA Draft:

16th PICK—Marreese Speights as for a second, I thought the 76ers were selecting Maurice Cheeks. At 6’10” 245 lbs. Gabe decides to give his two cents; “this guy should be playing football.” Thank you, Gabe.

Bilas: “Good post moves” but MUST IMPROVE: CONDITIONING as Bilas is left to wonder “what kind of motor does he have?” Not much of one if he’s fat is what I think. No one is too excited for this pick I noticed.

17th PICK—Roy Hibbert as Stern proclaims that “Roy is not here.” I’m thinking had Hibbert declared for the NBA draft last season, he would’ve been invited to go to New York and would’ve been taken in the top 10. You see what happens when you stay in school, kids?

Stu: “He’s a BIG man!” Wow, Stu is on fire! Boo-yah! (Kill me!).
Bilas: “Little turn around jump shot in the paint” (probably the only thing that can be considered “little” on this guy. I’m starting to think that if you can spin and shoot without falling on your butt, you can easily impress Bilas).
--“Can’t change hands” (I’m sure Hibbert likes his hands just the way they are).
--Come on Bilas, finish strong! “He’s really, really solid.” I think Hibbert should’ve really, really left school after last season.
Stu: “Nicknamed ‘Big Stiff’ when he first arrived at Georgetown.” So is that what the ladies called him at Georgetown? I’m jealous...

Cut to Brook Lopez being WIRED for ESPN’s draft telecast as he lets it be known that the draft is “so boring.” Someone remind him that he’s in the right kind of draft, please!

While the Wizards decide how they’ll ruin that franchise, Stu is interviewing Phoenix Suns’ coach Terry Porter. How can newly drafted Robin Lopez benefit in Phoenix? Porter replies, “He’ll learn a lot from Shaq.” Is that a good thing?

18th PICK: JaVale McGee out of Nevada, the same school that Nick Fazekas went to. Donny and I weren’t too interested that him and his mom become the first WNBA, NBA mother-son tandem. This is me celebrating—hip, hip, hoorah! (no CAPS needed). At 7 feet, 237 lbs. the Wizards decided that having two big stiffs like Brendan Haywood and Etan Thomas wasn’t enough. A third big stiff was needed on the roster and Hibbert was already gone.

Ric Buchner chimes in (always happy to hear from Ric because every time he has breaking news, its usually something crazy that makes you feel like you have just been slapped across the face). There’s a big trade involving the Pacers and the Blazers as Ike Diogu and Jerryd Bayless (along with Josh McRoberts. Hold for laughter), have been traded from the Pacers for Jarrett Jack and Brandon Rush. WOW, I feel like someone just slapped me across the face (see? I told you!)

And now we have Darrell Arthur, still waiting in the green room for a team to select him, anxiously chomping on a piece of gum. I’m embarrassed for him. Bilas doesn’t understand. He says he “has a good turnaround jumper” (dammit, according to Bilas, everyone has a “good turnaround jumper!”). Jax, a former 18th overall draft pick thinks he best qualifies to talk to Arthur, but I’m betting Arthur doesn’t want to hear from him at this moment. Jax’s best advise “get a new piece of gum and enjoy it.” Again, Jax makes it sound easy, but he forgets how few people in this world are as tough as Jax, much less a young 20 year-old whose ability is being questioned. Calm down, Jax!

19th PICK—J.J. Hickson as Bilas tells us that he “has an NBA body” and “can overpower opponents down low.” Ok, but I bet he will find it very hard to “overpower” in the NBA. MUST WORK ON: WORK-ETHIC. I’m done with this pick.

20th PICK—Michael Jordan has another 1st round pick in this year’s draft and I’m left wondering how he’ll further ruin this team. Remember, in order to get this pick from Denver, they had to give up a “future protected 1st round pick.” Here’s what our experts think:
Jax: They have to go big!
Bilas: (not one to be one-upped) They have to go Center-big (hahahahaha!)
David Stern: Alexis Ajinca, Center from France
Bilas:--“Big AND long... makes basketball look like a Nerf ball.” NEEDS: Strength and weight (of course!)
Fran Fraschilla: Not productive in French league (at least The Rooster was productive in Triple-A Italy last season). There’s also a concern that since the Euro is stronger than the dollar, he might never play with the Bobcats. So Michael picked a guy who might not play in the NBA because he makes too much money in Europe. Sounds like Ajinca has Jordan’s business savvy, but not even a single-digit percentage of Michael’s desire. Do I hear the toilet flush for this franchise? Oh, it’s just Gabe getting out of the bathroom.

Andy Katz interview with Bayless as Katz asks him when did he find out about the trade. Bayless should’ve said, “When Ric Buchner reported it earlier. I was so shocked! Its as if someone had slapped me across the face.”

The New Jersey Nets are on the clock with the 21st pick. Any thoughts, gentlemen?
Jax: “Team is trying to get better” (as opposed to getting worse? Oh wait; I remember when a certain team got worse when they traded away Elton Brand to the Clippers. I don’t want to talk about it).
Stu: How close are they to the elite in the East? (my thoughts? Not very).
Jax: Maybe not an elite team in the East, but they could make the playoffs (shoot, that’s true about any team in the East. Even the Knicks have a chance to make the playoffs out of the East with a losing record).
Stu: The Nets are younger and bigger with Lopez (yes, but apparently they’re still a mediocre team).

Next: 21-25